Question 1

What is Between Us, exactly?

Accepted Answer

Between Us is a set of questionnaires and reflection tools for people who want to understand their relationship better. The centrepiece is a couples test that you and your partner answer separately and then compare, so you can see where your perspectives line up and where they differ. There are also individual tests you can take on your own, and short tools for working through a specific situation, such as an argument you keep repeating. It is a thinking aid, not a service that tells you what to do.

Question 2

Can I take the individual tests without creating an account?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Every individual test is open — you can answer the questions and read your results without signing up or giving us an email address. An account is only useful if you want to save results and look at them again later, or compare how your answers change over time. The couples test is the one exception, because comparing two sets of answers requires both people to have somewhere for those answers to live.

Question 3

How long does the couples test take?

Accepted Answer

About twelve minutes for most people. There are forty questions, and they are deliberately short — you are not writing essays. You do not have to finish in one sitting; your progress is saved as you go, so you can stop and come back. It is worth answering reasonably quickly rather than agonising, because first instincts tend to be more honest than carefully composed answers.

Question 4

How do I invite my partner?

Accepted Answer

One of you starts a session and gets a private invitation link to send however you like — message, email, in person. Your partner opens the link, creates their own account, and answers the same questions independently. Neither of you sees anything from the other while you are answering. Once you have both finished, you each have to agree to compare before any results are shown.

Question 5

Can my partner see my individual answers?

Accepted Answer

No. Your raw answers are never shown to your partner — not while you are answering, and not afterwards. What they can see, and only once you have both agreed to compare, is the comparison: where your two sets of answers converge, where they diverge, and what that difference might be worth talking about. Free-text responses are a special case and are only ever included if you have explicitly agreed to share them.

Question 6

Can I stop a session or change my mind about sharing?

Accepted Answer

Yes, at any point. You can abandon a session before finishing, and you can decline to compare after finishing. If you have already agreed to compare, you can withdraw that agreement, which removes your side of the comparison from your partner's view going forward. We cannot make someone forget what they have already read, but nothing further is shown and no new comparison is generated.

Question 7

How is my data stored, and can I delete it?

Accepted Answer

Answers are stored in an encrypted database and are only readable by your own account unless you have agreed to a comparison. You can delete an individual session or your whole account from your settings, and deletion removes your answers rather than just hiding them. If you delete your account while a comparison exists, your side of it goes with you. If anything about this is unclear, the privacy policy sets out the detail and you can email us about your own data.

Question 8

Is AI involved, and what gets sent to it?

Accepted Answer

The scoring and the comparison itself are done by our own logic, not by a language model — the same answers always produce the same result. We do use AI to help phrase some of the written explanations and suggested conversation starters. When that happens, what is sent is the pattern of answers rather than anything that identifies you, and your free-text responses are not sent unless you have asked for feedback on them specifically. Nothing you write is used to train anybody's model.

Question 9

Do you sell or share my answers with anyone?

Accepted Answer

No. We do not sell personal data, and we do not share your answers with advertisers, data brokers, or anyone else. The free parts of the site are supported by ordinary display advertising, which is served based on the page you are reading rather than on anything you have told us about your relationship. Your answers are not part of that process in any form.

Question 10

Is the couples test really free?

Accepted Answer

Yes, entirely. All forty questions and the full comparison of your results are free, for both of you. There is no card required, no trial that quietly becomes a subscription, and no important section withheld until you pay. There is one optional paid extra — a longer Advanced Couples Report — but the core test and your results do not depend on it.

Question 11

Do both of us need our own account?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Each person needs their own account, because that is what keeps your answers separate and private from each other. Sharing one login would mean both of you could read everything the other wrote, which defeats the point of answering independently. Setting up the second account takes under a minute from the invitation link.

Question 12

What happens if my partner never finishes?

Accepted Answer

Nothing is lost, and nothing is shown. Your answers stay saved and private, and the comparison simply waits. We will nudge once if an invitation has been sitting unopened, and then leave it alone — we do not chase people repeatedly. In the meantime you can read a reflection summary of your own answers on their own, which is useful in itself, and the comparison becomes available whenever they do finish.

Question 13

Is it suitable for us if we are only dating, or if we have been married for years?

Accepted Answer

Both work, though you will get different things from it. Earlier on, the most useful material tends to be in the expectations and future sections, where unspoken assumptions are often still undiscovered. After many years together, the prediction questions — where you guess how your partner answered — are usually the surprising part, because long familiarity makes people confident rather than accurate. The questions themselves do not assume you live together, are married, or have children.

Question 14

What do I get for the Advanced Couples Report?

Accepted Answer

The Advanced Couples Report is a one-time purchase of $4.99 that expands your free results into a much longer document: a category-by-category breakdown, the specific places your perceptions of each other diverge most, tailored conversation prompts for each of those, and a version you can download or print. Buying it also permanently removes advertising from your account, on every page, with no expiry. It is one payment, not a subscription, and it does not add anything you need in order to understand your free results.

Question 15

Do I need a subscription?

Accepted Answer

No. There is no subscription on Between Us at all. The couples test, the individual tests and the reflection tools are free to use as often as you like, and the only thing you can pay for is the one-time Advanced Couples Report. Nothing will ever renew or charge you again after a purchase.

Question 16

Is this therapy or counselling?

Accepted Answer

No. Between Us is not therapy, counselling, or any form of clinical or diagnostic assessment, and we do not provide treatment or advice about whether to stay in a relationship. What we offer is structured questions and a clear way of comparing two perspectives, which can make a conversation easier to start. If you are dealing with something painful or persistent, or you ever feel unsafe, a qualified professional is the right place to take it — and the results here can be a useful thing to bring with you.

Question 17

How accurate are the results?

Accepted Answer

The results accurately describe what the two of you reported on one particular day, which is a narrower claim than it may first appear. They cannot measure how much you love each other, predict whether you will last, or establish that either of you is at fault for anything. Their value is in the gaps: discovering that your partner believes you feel supported when you do not is genuinely useful information, however the underlying scores are worded. Read them as a prompt for a conversation rather than a verdict on the relationship.

Question 18

What if our results look bad?

Accepted Answer

A low score on a section means the two of you reported a difference or a dissatisfaction in that area, not that your relationship is failing. Plenty of couples who are doing perfectly well score poorly on something specific, usually because it has never been discussed. The sections where you differ most are the ones worth spending twenty minutes on, and the report gives you a few questions to start with. If reading the results leaves either of you distressed, it is reasonable to put it down and come back to it, or to go through it with a counsellor.

Questions, answered without the hedging

Getting started

The couples test

Privacy and consent

Pricing

Accuracy and limits

Still unanswered?