What Are My Relationship Expectations?
Most of them were never agreed, only assumed.
- 19 questions
- About 5 minutes
- Free, no account
- Result shown straight away
Everybody arrives in a relationship with a rulebook, written mostly by the household they grew up in and the relationships that came before. The rules feel like common sense, which is exactly why they go unsaid. This quiz looks at two things: how much shared life you expect, and how much of that you've actually told your partner. Neither a close-woven life nor a more separate one is the correct answer. Having said which one you want is.
What it can tell you
- Where your answers sit on how much shared life you expect
- Where your answers sit on how much you've actually said
- What the pattern in your own answers looks like written down
What it cannot
- Diagnose anything, or stand in for a professional opinion
- Tell you what your partner thinks, feels or intended
- Know anything you have not told it
Read this first
This is a self-reflection exercise, not an assessment or a diagnosis, and there is no right score. It describes what you reported wanting at the moment, and expectations move with age, circumstance and who you're with. It cannot tell you whether your expectations are reasonable — that depends entirely on the other person and on what you've agreed. The most useful version of this is both of you answering separately and comparing, which the couples questionnaire is designed for.
About 5 minutes19 questionsNo account, no email
Questions people ask about this test
- How long does the "What Are My Relationship Expectations?" test take?
- About 5 minutes. There are 19 questions, you can go back and change an answer, and the full result appears as soon as you finish.
- Do I need an account to see my result?
- No. There is no account, no email address and no payment involved in taking this test or reading the result. An account only exists if you want to keep a result to look at later — it does not unlock a longer version, because there is no longer version.
- Is this a diagnosis?
- No. This is a self-reflection exercise, not an assessment or a diagnosis, and there is no right score. It describes what you reported wanting at the moment, and expectations move with age, circumstance and who you're with. It cannot tell you whether your expectations are reasonable — that depends entirely on the other person and on what you've agreed. The most useful version of this is both of you answering separately and comparing, which the couples questionnaire is designed for. The scoring is plain arithmetic applied to what you report, not an assessment by a clinician.
- Can my partner see my answers?
- No. This test is taken on your own and nothing is shared with anybody. If you want to compare answers with a partner, the separate couples test asks you both the same questions privately and only compares them once you have both finished and both agreed.
Tests that ask a neighbouring question
Worth reading alongside it
The Expectations You Never Said Out Loud
Every relationship runs on rules nobody wrote down. They only become visible at the moment one of you breaks one.
How to Ask for What You Need Without It Sounding Like a Complaint
A request describes the future. A complaint describes the past. Most requests fail because they arrive wrapped in the second one.
Tools for one specific thing
Hidden Expectations
Surface the assumptions you have each never said out loud.
A mismatch here is information, not incompatibility. It only becomes a problem if it stays unspoken.
Fairness Calculator
Compare how you each perceive the division of day-to-day work.
Perceived shares are not measurements, and this will not produce a settlement. It will not score anyone as lazy.
This test only hears your side of it.
The couples test asks you both the same questions separately, then shows you where your answers meet and where they do not. It is free, and neither of you sees the other's answers until you have both finished and both agreed.
Between Us is a reflection tool. This test is not therapy, counselling or a clinical assessment, and it cannot know your situation. If you are in immediate danger, please use these resources instead.