Am I Avoiding Difficult Conversations?
Cheap this evening, expensive by next year.
- 18 questions
- About 5 minutes
- Free, no account
- Result shown straight away
Avoiding a difficult conversation almost always feels like the mature choice at the time. You're keeping the peace, picking your moment, not making a fuss over something small. The cost arrives later and arrives indirectly: a slight distance, a flash of resentment over something trivial, a row that turns out to be about four other things. This quiz looks at how much you avoid, and at what's accumulated while you have been.
What it can tell you
- Where your answers sit on how much you avoid
- Where your answers sit on what's accumulated
- What the pattern in your own answers looks like written down
What it cannot
- Diagnose anything, or stand in for a professional opinion
- Tell you what your partner thinks, feels or intended
- Know anything you have not told it
Read this first
This is a self-reflection exercise, not an assessment or a diagnosis. It hears only your side, and avoidance is usually a pattern between two people rather than one person's failing — the response you've learned to expect is part of the picture, and this quiz can't see it. It describes the current stretch, which may be unusually tense or unusually calm. It can't tell you which conversations are worth having; some things genuinely are better let go, and only you know which.
About 5 minutes18 questionsNo account, no email
Questions people ask about this test
- How long does the "Am I Avoiding Difficult Conversations?" test take?
- About 5 minutes. There are 18 questions, you can go back and change an answer, and the full result appears as soon as you finish.
- Do I need an account to see my result?
- No. There is no account, no email address and no payment involved in taking this test or reading the result. An account only exists if you want to keep a result to look at later — it does not unlock a longer version, because there is no longer version.
- Is this a diagnosis?
- No. This is a self-reflection exercise, not an assessment or a diagnosis. It hears only your side, and avoidance is usually a pattern between two people rather than one person's failing — the response you've learned to expect is part of the picture, and this quiz can't see it. It describes the current stretch, which may be unusually tense or unusually calm. It can't tell you which conversations are worth having; some things genuinely are better let go, and only you know which. The scoring is plain arithmetic applied to what you report, not an assessment by a clinician.
- Can my partner see my answers?
- No. This test is taken on your own and nothing is shared with anybody. If you want to compare answers with a partner, the separate couples test asks you both the same questions privately and only compares them once you have both finished and both agreed.
Tests that ask a neighbouring question
Worth reading alongside it
The Quiet Cost of Avoiding Conflict
Keeping the peace feels generous at the time. The bill tends to arrive later, as distance nobody can quite explain.
How to Talk About What Isn't Working
Most difficult conversations fail in the first thirty seconds. Here is how to open one so that it has somewhere useful to go.
Tools for one specific thing
Argument Decoder
Take one argument apart: the trigger, the thing said, the thing heard.
It decodes the pattern, not the person. It will not tell you who started it.
Hidden Expectations
Surface the assumptions you have each never said out loud.
A mismatch here is information, not incompatibility. It only becomes a problem if it stays unspoken.
This test only hears your side of it.
The couples test asks you both the same questions separately, then shows you where your answers meet and where they do not. It is free, and neither of you sees the other's answers until you have both finished and both agreed.
Between Us is a reflection tool. This test is not therapy, counselling or a clinical assessment, and it cannot know your situation. If you are in immediate danger, please use these resources instead.